


vanilla twilight

by constic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, My first fic, also it's named after that owl city song for no reason in paticular, au in which they live in a shitty beach town but together, featuring only my favorite characters lmao, i just like it and it's cute, please .., so be nice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:31:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7040920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constic/pseuds/constic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Tsukkishima is painfully in love with his best friend, who is painfully in love with someone else.</p><p>AU where they live in a shitty beach town and spend every moment together (and say the word "shitty" a lot).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. intro

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys !! this is my first official fic ! i'll update reguarly and probably get into some kind of pattern- i hope you enjoy! feel free to leave suggestions or criticism, i don't bite!! (●´ω｀●)

He'd wanted so badly to be his first kiss and his first love, but instead he told himself that if you take that step forwards it's over, that first loves never last.

Maybe it's true that he'd only adopted that way of thinking after that night they snuck into the neon lit club together and were separated in the lights and the dancing and by the time he'd reached him he knew it was too late.

He watched helplessly as his best friend and the girl that he'd cried on his shoulder about just the night before inched towards one another for their first kiss. He turned away as it happened because he couldn't bare to watch the moment he'd been dreading ever since he saw the way he looked at her. He didn't have to watch to know exactly what it was like, as his friend excitedly recounted his first kiss to him as they sat together on a bench in the middle of their shitty town.

And god, he'd wanted so badly to hate her- to loathe the girl who'd stolen his best friend and first crush away from him, but he couldn't. Not when he saw the way the boy's eyes glowed when she arrived, and how his freckled cheeks blushed the color of strawberry jam when she took his hand, and when the boys spent the night coughing on stolen cigarettes exchanging secrets into the night sky on an old, shitty, roof and the boy he'd fallen in love with after all this time looked into his eyes and said "Tsukki, I think I'm in love with her," he knew that he was royally fucked for the freckled boy, and destined to live his life in love with his best friend, who so happened to be in love with his own girlfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

It had all started when Tsukki (Tsukkishima at the time) was only 4 years old. He lived in a beach house with his brother and his mother.

Yamaguchi had been 3 when his family (consisting of himself and his parents) downgraded to a similar shitty beach house located only yards away. Though Tsukki hated to admit it, the two hit it off immediately. Even as a toddler, Tsukki had a tendency to be... well, an asshole- but this didn't stop the freckled tike from immediately branding him "Tsukki" and being a shadow and an overall nuisance to poor Tsukkishima. 

When they were old enough for kindergarden, Tsukki being 6 and Yamaguchi being 5, Tsukki had finally accepted Yamaguchi's place in his life. Yamaguchi viewed them as best friends while Tsukki could compare their relationship to that of a five year old and his sitter, but nevertheless the two became inseparable.

Tsukki became protective of the sensitive younger boy immediately- taking his hand and leading him to his favorite spot on the shore where clams burrowed happily when he was upset, keeping a watchful eye out for him when he climbed on the rocks residing near the shore, staring icily at those who tried to take his Yamaguchi away from him. Small things that became habitual to Tsukki.

Tsukki and Yamaguchi grew up in a town called Kotan. It was a rough, small town, rampant with underage drug and alcohol use with a high criminal rate. Walking down the street without a friend or a weapon was putting your own health at risk- true, the boys were small, but they soon learned which paths to avoid and how to quickly outrun a dodgy-looking man in a trenchcoat looming dangerously close.

Tsukki's mom wasn't exactly what you'd call an incredible parental figure. She worked back-to-back jobs as a waitress and a bartender and he rarely ever saw her when she arrived home. Though the average outsider would view the lack of relationship between him and his mother as tragic, Tsukkishima learned to adapt to a life on his own- more realistically, a life on his own with Yamaguchi.

His brother leaped at the opportunity to abandon Kotan the second he could. His father had reached out to Akiteru by the time he was twelve. Tsukkishima was only six when he left home. There were no hard feelings between his mother and Akiteru- in fact, she prompted him to live with his father in the big city- he desperately wanted to get into a good college, and he couldn't stand the town. Though Tsukki did not blame him nor hate him, he envied his brother's ability to pick up and move his whole life just for something he desired. He occasionally visited on his mother's birthdays. His visits were one of the rare times she did not go to work.

The two students walked to and from school together every day. It was a short walk, and the boys easily memorized the safest route to and from the small building. It was only until grade two that Tsukki actually invited Yamaguchi into his house to do homework together. Yamaguchi sat down on a plastic chair beside the dining table and swung his feet back and forth as he leaned on the wobbly wooden table. A large, frog-like, grin resided on his face.

"What?" Tsukki said gruffly as he dug through empty cupboards for an after school snack.

Yamaguchi abruptly sat up, but he didn't stop smiling.

"Sorry, Tsukki," he said, not sounding very sorry, "it's just so nice here!"

Tsukki made a face. "I've been to your house before, it's no worse than mine."

Yamaguchi giggled. "No, I mean- it's so much quieter here."

"Oh", replied Tsukki, pulling out a stale bag of goldfish from a squeaky cupboard and pouring it into two plastic snack containers.

Tsukki had only been to Yamaguchi's house on a couple of occasions- Yamaguchi's birthdays and days when he didn't understand his homework- and even then, his parents never seemed to stop fighting.  
Perhaps Kei would have offered some comforting words, were he a more openly affectionate friend, but as he handed the container of goldfish to his smaller friend, the smile he gave him was reassurance that he was perfectly content. It made Tsukki's stomach do something, the way Yamaguchi grinned impossibly wider as he said "Thanks, Tsukki!", and he didn't like it.

Later, he experienced a feeling similar to the one he occasionally got when Yamaguchi grinned at him. Yamaguchi had a handheld nintendo and though the only game he had was Kirby Dream Land and EarthBound, the pair was absolutely dedicated to the small, red device. One fateful Sunday morning, Tsukki was surprised to find Yamaguchi no where to be found- it was already odd that he didn't go knocking on the elder's door that morning, but even stranger that he hadn't simply overslept. Finally, Tsukki found him sniffling on the shore of his old favorite spot, digging through the wet clam-filled sand with a stick.

"What are you doing? I thought you'd been abducted or something." Said Tsukki, his mouth twisted into a scowl and his arms crossed across his favorite pterodactyl t-shirt.

Yamaguchi dropped his stick in surprise and immediately rubbed his eyes with the back of his shirtsleeve.

"S-sorry, Tsukki, it's just..." he sniffled again, "my DS. It's broken."

He looked like he'd been crying- his eyes were red and his cheeks were ruddy. Tsukki didn't like that at all, either, but he didn't know how to console his closest (and only) friend.

He crouched down beside him and picked up a stick of his own and began digging at the cluster of clams. "What happened?" he inquired, cautiously glancing up. The last thing Kei wanted to do was make him cry all over again.

He shrugged bashfully and began fumbling with his stick once again.

"I kind of..." the rest of what he said was an indecipherable mumble.

"You kind of what?"

He sighed and hung his head low.

"I was drinking chocolate milk and walking and battling a mobile sprout and his three cohorts on EarthBound and I tripped on a loose floorboard and it landed funny and snapped in half and got chocolate milk on it and I'm really sorry, Tsukki, the game is still ok!" he rushed through his words, gripping his stick so hard Tsukki was sure it would snap in half at any moment.

"That sucks."

Yamaguchi glanced up at him.

"Are you mad at me, Tsukki?" Said Yamaguchi anxiously.

Tsukki looked at the younger boy, his best friend, who'd completely torn himself up over such a petty mistake, just because he was afraid he'd get yelled at by a boy not even half a year older than himself- and he laughed.

Yamaguchi felt as if he'd looked death in the eye and death had laughed in his face.

"Chocolate milk?" said Tsukki, gasping for breath as he doubled over in laughter.

"Y-yeah." said Yamaguchi, beginning to smile too.

"That's so... you." he wiped the tears from his eyes as he looked at Yamaguchi once again with an expression he could only describe as a mix between happiness, surprise, and absolute fear.

Tsukki stood up, still grinning, and offered his hand to Yamaguchi. 

"Come on, let's go eat lunch." Yamaguchi's features finally relaxed as he took his hand and let himself be pulled up.

Much to his surprise, the second Yamaguchi was on his feet, he pulled Tsukki in for a hug.

That fluttery feeling in his stomach didn't go away until Yamaguchi got ketchup on his shirt at lunchtime and he was filled with anger, replacing the light feeling he'd had since the encounter.

About half a year later, on his twelfth birthday, his father called their house phone. It was one of the most awkward conversations he'd had at that point in his life (second only to "the talk" he was required to have in school when he was eleven years old). He'd explained to his father that, yes, he was doing well, and, yes, he would much rather stay in Kotan. Why? his father asked. He shrugged and then realized he could not see him, so muttered some fake explanation. The truth was, he couldn't picture a life away from Kotan- especially a life without Yamaguchi. The thought made him scowl.

"Tell Akiteru I said hi," he quickly hung up. 

Minutes later, his mother creeped in from her room holding a box wrapped in newspaper. She offered him a tentative smile. Before she could ask anything, he blurted out exactly what he knew she wanted to hear.

"I said no." 

Her face portrayed that of unadulterated shock. She then wrapped an arm around him in a bear-side-hug, grinning from ear to ear. Tsukki had never seen her look so blissful.

"What made you stay?" she asked him. He simply shrugged.

"You and Yamaguchi. I guess." he muttered, looking away as he did so.

She released her grip on him, still smiling. 

"I'm glad." she said as she stepped back, placing the gift on the kitchen counter beside the plug-in rotary phone they'd had since Tsukkishima was born. With a work-calloused hand she tucked her short, blonde hair behind her ear.

"Would you like to invite him over? I got a cake from Maruetsu- it's shaped like a dinosaur."

Tsukki straightened up at this and nodded vigorously. "Thank you!" he cried before leaping off his place on the stool beside the rotary phone and running out the door towards Yamaguchi's house, wondering what kind of dinosaur it was. 

Later that same day, after the chocolate (Triceratops) cake had been eaten by the trio, it was finally time to open his presents. In truth, he only had two- but it didn't matter to him. The cake would have been enough on its own.

He ripped off the newspaper to reveal a cardboard box. Yamaguchi eagerly watched as he pulled out a brand-new electric blue DS. They both let out a gasp as his mother smiled fondly at the two.

"I heard about what happened to Tadashi's, so I've been saving up ever since to get you a new one!" Tsukki and Yamaguchi said their thanks (many times) and his mother hugged them both once more before heading off to bed. That was two hugs in the space of 24 hours for Tsukki, which was probably more than the bitter child could handle on an average day- but since it was his birthday, he let Yamaguchi slide a third one in before he departed to his own home. Tsukki could hardly sleep that night. All he wanted to do was play on his new nintendo with Yamaguchi- sleep eventually found him, but not before he'd contemplated a way to sneak out to Yamaguchi's house in at least three different ways.

By the time they were 14 years old, they had completed EarthBound twice and were saving up for the newest Pokemon game (though Yamaguchi had wanted to try Animal Crossing, Tsukki had convinced him that Pokemon was essentially the same thing with more fighting). Neither of them had any extraordinary occurances happen to them in middle school. They led fairly simple lives. The most incredible difference that occurred was the absolute skyrocketing of their heights. Tsukkishima had always been an above average height, but his younger self was nothing compared to his current height. At 188.3 centimeters (6'2"), he towered over almost everyone. He was even taller than Yamaguchi by 8.5 centimeters- not that that was anything new- he'd always been taller that him.

Yamaguchi said goodbye to many of his friends as they parted separate ways for high school. A couple were even moving like Tsukki's brother had- the high school education system had never been amazing in Kotan- but then again, you could probably say that about any other town. 

Tsukki, on the other hand, had no trouble saying goodbye to Yamaguchi's friends. For one, they were only Yamaguchi's friends- and Tsukki understood and accepted that. He didn't want any more friends than he already had (one, Yamaguchi). He certainly didn't need anymore friends, either. They were a burden to him, and he could hardly handle maintaining the few relationships he had as it was.

The summer before high school seemed brief, and was primarily spent doing dishes with Yamaguchi at their favorite diner, Oyaji. It wasn't the best paying job, but it was still a job nonetheless. Together, they had enough money for occasional ice creams and french fries, and, after months of saving, Pokemon SoulSilver (they named their starter Pokemon, Chikorita, 'oh shit he' and had a good laugh each time he evolved or attacked). Of course, they didn't work 24/7- they enjoyed swimming, playing beach volleyball with Yamaguchi's friends, and just spending time together doing nothing in particular. 

Before he knew it, Tsukki was a high schooler and the two of them entered a new chapter of their lives. "High school," his mother told him, "it'll either make or break you- and you better not let it break you, Tsukkishima." 

He knew he wouldn't. He had Yamaguchi on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> childhood fluff yaaay! i've made a reaally rough sketch for how this will go (like, really rough. the only thing i wrote for this chapter was 'chapter two: ~childhood~ wow') and it should be about 15 chapters long! the lengths will vary, but i'm thinking none of them will be as short as the prologue was ヽ(´▽｀)ノ


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's short! sorry

The first day at Kotan High School wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The boys were happily surprised to have many classes together as well as a 45 minute lunch period where they could amble together all they wanted.

Though Yamaguchi had many friends, everyone seemed to know that Tsukki was his number one friend. They ate lunch together, sat together, and walked together, unless they were in different classes. Yamaguchi didn't mind this at all. He was content with a wide circle of friends and acquaintances and a single Tsukki.

Though Tsukki would never admit it to himself, he was greedy when it came to Yamaguchi. He'd prefer to be with him alone rather than with other people. They always ate lunch where no one was so Yamaguchi's friends wouldn't wander over and invade Tsukki's precious friendship time. If Tsukki were nicer, perhaps he would have felt some guilt in keeping Yamaguchi somewhat isolated from his other friends and peers, but since he really didn't care about them, he didn't feel guilty in the slightest.

Tsukki was happy with this very much. He was happy when they ate together, listened to music together, walked home together, and did homework together. It was as though nothing could separate them.

Of course, good things hardly last. One day when they ate together, Tsukki felt as though the younger boy was slightly different. He wasn't bubbly. He sipped on his juice silently with his legs pulled to his chest. He wasn't sad, exactly, just contemplative.

"What are you doing?" Tsukki said, breaking the silence Yamaguchi had left to fill. He gave a little jump of fright, causing him to tighten his grip on his juice box, spraying himself in the sticky mess. "What a clutz," thought Tsukki endearingly.

Yamaguchi gave a long sigh in response as he wiped himself down with a tissue. "It's really dumb. You wouldn't want to hear it." He slumped down against the large tree they were sitting under.

If Tsukki were nicer, he would have comforted Yamaguchi. He would have said "Of course it isn't dumb. You can tell me anything, I'm your best friend." But he wasn't nicer and this wasn't what he said.

"You don't have to tell me." He said without even glancing over at Yamaguchi. It was silent again for a minute or so, but Yamaguchi couldn't stand the silence.

"So there's this girl I met." Yamaguchi said as he pulled a loose thread on his sleeve.  
"She's really pretty and nice and I offered to help her with some homework in our mathematics class. She said she's free tomorrow and I'm just- I'm so nervous."

“Oh.” Tsukki hadn’t really been counting on something like this. He thought that Tadashi was just behind in a class or something. He felt way out of his depth-- he couldn’t even recall the last time he’d had a crush on someone. He didn’t like to dwell on it.

“That’s- shit.”

“It’s shit?”

“No, I just- I don’t know- I don’t really think about romance and stuff.”

“Well, you get confessions all the time. What about that girl last week? The one with the pigtails?”

“I don’t even remember her name.” 

“That’s kind of mean, Tsukki.” 

“She probably doesn’t remember my name.” Tadashi raised his eyebrows in an incredulous manner.

“What? Did I say something?”

“You don’t just forget your crush’s name! She liked you, y’know.”

“Well, why doesn’t she just move on to the next one?”

“Humans don’t do that, Tsukki! Don’t you remember your first crush?”

Tsukki opened his mouth to rebuttal, but he couldn’t remember her name. He couldn’t even remember what she looked like. He couldn’t remember if she’d ever existed.

“Do you remember your first crush?” 

Yamaguchi hardly had to think about his answer. “Her name was Akari and she always wore a braid. She sat at the same table as me but I was too scared to talk to her. How could I ever forget her? She was the first girl I ever liked.”

There was a question Tsukki desperately wanted to ask him, but for once, he was the nervous one. He hated asking personal questions. It made him feel embarrassed. He hated that, so he pretended he wasn’t embarrassed and spit it out.

“What does it feel like when you like someone?” The words felt like they weren’t meant to come out of his mouth, and yet there they were.

Tadashi hesitated before he spoke. His cheeks went a bit pink, and for whatever reason this made Kei’s cheeks turn a bit pink, too.

“It’s like…” he averted his gaze back to his sleeve. “You’re always happy around them and when they touch you, it’s like… it’s like that feeling you get when you catch yourself right before you fall, or right when you jump into the water.” He wrapped the navy thread around his long, freckled finger. “It makes you feel happy, knowing that you like them, but you also kind of know that they’ll never like you back.” He tugged on the thread until it snapped. Neither of them said anything.

“Do you get it now?”

“Yeah.”

“Who was your first crush?”

Kei looked at his face. “Doesn’t matter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well I'm back from the dead . feel free to tell me about how u feel about it ...


End file.
